Vote for Phil Davidson: A found poem by Daniel Mefford

Vote for Phil Davidson                                                                                  Dan Mefford

Good evening

My name is Phil Davidson

And I am seeking my party’s nomination

For the position of Stark County Treasurer

In terms of education

I have a bachelors degree in sociology,

A bachelor’s degree in history,

A masters degree in public administration,

And a masters degree in communication.

Let’s use this knowledge not as a tool,

But as a weapon.

Albert Einstein issued one of my most favorite quotes

And it is as follows:

In the middle of opportunity…

excuse me, “in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Let me repeat that so I have some clarity tonight!

This is the opportunity we’ve been waiting for.

The Stark County treasurer’s office IS A MESS.

Now is the time to seize this opportunity

With an aggressive campaign

And an even more aggressive campaigner.

I have been a Republican in times good

And I have been a Republican in times bad.

I will hit the ground running,

Come out swinging,

And end up winning!

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhV5RgcNJjE

The Evil Ant King (part 4)

The humans' uncanny method of defeating the ants was of no use. The omniscient ant king obviously saw this coming. He however skulked over to his microphone and called out to his followers. He then used his malevolent powers to expunge the ants of their delusions. Because the ants thought of the king with such high esteem, once back to normal, they began to form their own genius plans to give the king power to rule the world in a shorter amount of time. They mount an offensive to achieve this attainment. The ants plan to meet the humans with millions of foot soldiers on a hill in Virginia. They would shout and converge and obliterate the humans. They thought they could hide the plan so well, the humans would never ascertain the kind of hurt they will encounter. The ants were so caught up in their plan, they didn't realize that the humans had become closely affiliated with the aardvark population, who preferred the dominance of humans and control over the ant population. This would be the humans' new weapon in the epic war against the ants.

The Evil Ant King (pt. 3)

The ant army was exhilarated by the evil ant king's speech. He was able to coerce every ant to fight harder than ever with the power of the evil spirit. The king was determined to not let his adversaries win this war. It has only been a year into the war and some of the blunders the humans have made led to the demise of the leader of the humans. The new leader wanted to redress the loss by taking punitive measures against the ants. His plan was to search the source of the ants and unleash a nuclear arsenal. This would alienate the leader underground from the army on the surface. After separating the surface army from their leader, the humans needed a way to suppress the ants' anger. The humans realized that since ants love taking their food at picnics, they could put their culinary skills to use to make a deal with the remaining ants. This artifice was sure to work, and it would set the precedent of what to do in case this were to happen again.

The Evil Ant King (cont.)

The war between the belligerent ants and the amicable humans is the bloodiest war the earth has ever seen. Leading the humans in the war is the United States, who is the most able to scrutinize the motives of the ants. They found that the ants have a meticulous plan to conquer the world. The plan is to utilize the ants' adroit abilities in carrying heavy weapons instill a holocaust upon the humans. The ants would carry flamethrowers and cursorily try to obliterate the humans. This was their biggest blunder. Because of this, some of the humans that carried heavy armor (called juggernauts) were impervious to the flames of the ants. These juggernauts put up a good fight, causing many ant forces to retrogress. The evil king of ants saw this and using the powers he obtained from the evil spirit, he speaks to the entire ant population through telepathic communication, sending an impetus through the hearts of all of the warriors. With fire in their hearts and in their hands, the war goes on.

The Ant Kingdom

While humans lived their opulent lifestyle on the surface, deep down in the earth lived a kingdom of ants. These were not the normal ants. They were ruled by Anthony, an ant king adulterated by an evil spirit. He had no power until the evil spirit entered him, augmenting his capabilities to rule all ants. Now powerful, the insidious king gave no intimation of his intentions. He instantly took all currency and made it his own, leaving the citizen ants bereft. Even after seeing the effects his actions were taking, he stood stolid by his plans. His ultimate plan was to rule the humans, so he put an army together, their will pliable by the king's power. Though the soldiers were outsized, their fortitude remained. It was only a short time after deploying the soldiers that the evil ant king ruled the entire world.